Author Archives: dumbshitmystudentssay

No Comment.

Situation: Sitting in a cafe with a senior literature class, taking a break from the rigors of Short Story Masters and literary elements. Michael Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel” plays on  the overhead music. Teacher: I was in … Continue reading

Posted in absurd, dunce | Leave a comment


Student: If Jesus can walk on water, and Humans are 70% water. Then if I walk on humans, am I 70% Jesus?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Wax On, Wax Off Museum

Situation: A U.S. History teacher is working with students on a project where they research a historical character then portray them as if in a wax museum. Other students enter the classroom and push a button and the student recites … Continue reading

Posted in genius | Leave a comment

Thank you, Eddie Murphy … when you were funny.

Situation: Student who enjoys reading words backwards has theory on Eddie Murphy’s comedy, i.e. his comedy routine with ice cream and “you’re under welfare, you can’t afford it!” Student: Do you know what “Haagen Dazs” sounds like when read backwards? … Continue reading

Posted in dunce, genius | Leave a comment


Situation: Student making small talk with teacher during study hall. Student: Say ‘Jesus’ backwards. Teacher: Uh … “Sus-sej” Student: Yeah! Ha! “Sausage”

Posted in dunce | Leave a comment

Damn Dam!!!!

Situation: A carcass of a beaver is found in a nearby creek by a group of students. One student asks if it’s a beaver or an otter, for which the teacher doesn’t have an answer but promises to find out. … Continue reading

Posted in dunce, self-deprecating | Leave a comment

Christ Doesn’t Give Autographs

Situation: A literature teacher takes a van load of kids to Bookman’s, a store for buying and trading books and music, to peruse the shelves. The task at hand is to trade old books, text and paperback, for novels that have … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment